What Can be Wrong with Rich Churches Helping those who are Poorer?

In our 5 Nov update, I wrote some strong words about church and foreign money.  One friend wisely questioned me about it, so I thought I'd quote what I wrote and explain my concern more clearly from the Scriptures:

One other fellowship here I was dismayed to witness laying on a big restaurant meal for Good Friday which we were not expected to contribute anything for.  The model is that the CEO of a church has lots of money coming in from abroad and he doles it out liberally.  I was particularly upset that that happened on Good Friday, when we are meant to reflect on the example of self-giving set by the 'CEO' of the church, he who gave himself up on the cross for the sake of his people.

My friend wisely commented that a Western church might in fact be inspired by Good Friday and give so that a poorer church can enjoy a free meal.  I agree that that scenario would not be a contravention of biblical teaching.  However, Westerners might like to know why I feel so strongly about what I perceive to be an 'entitlement mentality' in churches in this region.

1. What does it mean to aim at 'equality'?
   My friend referenced 2 Cor 8:13-14:
   "It is not that there should be relief for others and hardship for you, but it is a question of equality.[b] 14 At the present time your surplus is available for their need, so that their abundance may in turn meet your need, in order that there may be equality." (CSB)  However, I note that the Corinthians were being asked to provide need for those who were undergoing a famine in Jerusalem.*
   Suffice it to say here that I worry that a lot of money from well-to-do churches ends up going to middle-class people in countries where there is a well-publicised disaster or conflict.  We do have huge refugee camps here with people struggling to fill their stomachs.  But that Good Friday congregation was made up of plenty of 'middle-class' people.  The principle of 'equality' does not mean a crass income-levelling whereby wealthy churches should be striving to raise up the wealth of middle-class people.  We must labour to identify real need (see Paul doing this in 1 Tim 5:3,5) and then seek to feed the hungry.
2. I worry that Christians are being trained to come to church to receive not to give.  This was not a one-off observation.  I have seen so much up-ending here of the biblical maxim that 'it is more blessed to give than to receive'.
3. What I have witnessed so often in evangelical church culture here is an undermining of the culture of sharing food that is strongly present in non-Christian culture.  When a group of relatives go on a picnic together, each household labours to prepare food and bring it.  This happens in schools and universities too: people often bring a big tray of dolma  to share.  A key NT word that characterises the church is koinonia- fellowship, but since that word is often poorly understood, let's think of the church as a 'sharing-ship'.  So not only do I believe the model of the Big Guy at the Top doling out the Goodies is unbecoming of a Christian 'share-ship'; I believe it is even falling short of the standard of sharing that prevails in the communities of this world.
   
   * This is an assumption from 8:4- 'the relief of the saints'.  It sounds like pretty drastic need to me.  Acts 11:28 specifically mentions a famine, though about dates I have not researched.